Tuesday, August 23, 2011
That's why i love you.
It's because you know the right things to say. (:
Thank you love, for talking to me. For stopping my tears through the other line of the call.
Yes, i've been painting my image of you for so long that i've made believe it to be real. When it isn't. And, this has to stop. You can continue playing the role you want to play, whilst i continue with what i believe is right.
And i hardly want to let you go, love. Because you love me so. (:
Thank you love, for talking to me. For stopping my tears through the other line of the call.
Yes, i've been painting my image of you for so long that i've made believe it to be real. When it isn't. And, this has to stop. You can continue playing the role you want to play, whilst i continue with what i believe is right.
And i hardly want to let you go, love. Because you love me so. (:
Hurt, Lost... Labeled.
The blanks have been filled and made clear.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Reflecting
Never look back
never think about the days
when you were crying
when you were covering your face
with your head down in the covers
Apologetic is how you wanna be, but you're
Pathetic that is how you seem to me
Always going round in circles like a rocket round the earth
Thank you for making me the centre of your revolution
Hold your breath, count to ten
Let your life reflect your sins
Make a mark in the sand
Then let the wind erase them
Let your life begin, all over again.
never think about the days
when you were crying
when you were covering your face
with your head down in the covers
Apologetic is how you wanna be, but you're
Pathetic that is how you seem to me
Always going round in circles like a rocket round the earth
Thank you for making me the centre of your revolution
Hold your breath, count to ten
Let your life reflect your sins
Make a mark in the sand
Then let the wind erase them
Let your life begin, all over again.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
complain complain complain. UBER BAD DAY
Seriously, MEN!
YOU say that we OVER THINK so we cause UNNECESSARY PROBLEMS. I'd like you to know that if we could, we'd much rather live a life that doesn't involve bitching ard and everyone can just lay back, chill, relax and be really good friends so that world peace can come in the matter of milliseconds.
But the reason why the PROBLEMS EXIST is precisely because of people like YOU!
I might be saying this in the fit of rage so pardon me if this goes wayyyyyyy out of point or becomes rather objective.
1) My current boss. Hello.... im not psychic, so if you don't tell me what you need from me... what makes you think... I WOULD KNOW?! and you wait until I, ME, MYSELF, call you... for you to tell me what is needed of me. and when i finally get ard to doing it, you fARKING tell me that you've already SUBMITTED IT?! then i freaking do the time plan for FARK?!
2) To you know who you are. Seriously. If you need an agenda when you meet up with people you call "family" then we're not family. and you can just get the FARK LOST! EVERYTIME you turn up you mess everything up! NOW THIS HAS IMPLICATED ME! SERIOUSLY. GOD is either telling me that im not forgiving enough, or i've forgiven the wrong people time and time again. i'd very much like to go into seclusion and ask myself these qns that you guys imposed on me.
3) I've NOT CHANGED since a yr ago. Maybe i've changed because dear YOU KNOW WHO has finally made me blow my fuse and start spewing out all of my thoughts. I din mention it before is simply becos i was holding back. Why make things difficult for everyone, right? But apparently when i decide to do something for everyone, i get kicked in the butt and fall face flat into the mud simply because i wanted to know the truth and not blindly listen to that freaking liar. Time and time again, i fail to find that people that i'd like to help, feeling that i'm helping them.
4) I'm very tired of speaking up for people who only want to talk about it in the dark because they dun wanna blow up the matter. Honestly, you cover the rock, doens't mean its not there. I become the bad guy cause none of you were going to be it. But when i take the fall... who's gonna save me from falling?
Today was a bad day with MANY implications from MEN. PFFFFT!
YOU say that we OVER THINK so we cause UNNECESSARY PROBLEMS. I'd like you to know that if we could, we'd much rather live a life that doesn't involve bitching ard and everyone can just lay back, chill, relax and be really good friends so that world peace can come in the matter of milliseconds.
But the reason why the PROBLEMS EXIST is precisely because of people like YOU!
I might be saying this in the fit of rage so pardon me if this goes wayyyyyyy out of point or becomes rather objective.
1) My current boss. Hello.... im not psychic, so if you don't tell me what you need from me... what makes you think... I WOULD KNOW?! and you wait until I, ME, MYSELF, call you... for you to tell me what is needed of me. and when i finally get ard to doing it, you fARKING tell me that you've already SUBMITTED IT?! then i freaking do the time plan for FARK?!
2) To you know who you are. Seriously. If you need an agenda when you meet up with people you call "family" then we're not family. and you can just get the FARK LOST! EVERYTIME you turn up you mess everything up! NOW THIS HAS IMPLICATED ME! SERIOUSLY. GOD is either telling me that im not forgiving enough, or i've forgiven the wrong people time and time again. i'd very much like to go into seclusion and ask myself these qns that you guys imposed on me.
3) I've NOT CHANGED since a yr ago. Maybe i've changed because dear YOU KNOW WHO has finally made me blow my fuse and start spewing out all of my thoughts. I din mention it before is simply becos i was holding back. Why make things difficult for everyone, right? But apparently when i decide to do something for everyone, i get kicked in the butt and fall face flat into the mud simply because i wanted to know the truth and not blindly listen to that freaking liar. Time and time again, i fail to find that people that i'd like to help, feeling that i'm helping them.
4) I'm very tired of speaking up for people who only want to talk about it in the dark because they dun wanna blow up the matter. Honestly, you cover the rock, doens't mean its not there. I become the bad guy cause none of you were going to be it. But when i take the fall... who's gonna save me from falling?
Today was a bad day with MANY implications from MEN. PFFFFT!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
it's really just them.
alot of times i ask myself, is it just me? how come everyone else seems to easily get along with them but i can't.
from the other perspective, how come i can get along with everyone else, BUT them?
i've always blamed myself for not being sociable enough. for not being able to open myself up.
but i don't blame myself for not being able to be in the same league as you. i don't blame myself for not being as much of a gossiper or bitch as you.
Cause i'm not you.
As harsh as the words seem, i don't wanna be like you. And i don't have to. To make friends, i don't need to be like you. I don't need to believe that gossiping about other pple = caring for them. I don't need to believe in those twisted theories you made up for yourself to live guilt free in the world.
i DON'T need to.
you say that i think too much. i do. sometimes. the saddest part of it is i get upset not because i think too much. because i think too much to find excuses for the words that you say and the things that you do. and i can't find any.
even before you say anything, i alrd know what you want to say. and the most fucked up thing is, i know what you're thinking.
i'm done with blaming myself and piling myself with the guilt that you put on me for NOTHING that i have done.
i don't have to force myself to do something that i don't want to do. things that i'm not comfortable with doing.
cause i'm not you.
from the other perspective, how come i can get along with everyone else, BUT them?
i've always blamed myself for not being sociable enough. for not being able to open myself up.
but i don't blame myself for not being able to be in the same league as you. i don't blame myself for not being as much of a gossiper or bitch as you.
Cause i'm not you.
As harsh as the words seem, i don't wanna be like you. And i don't have to. To make friends, i don't need to be like you. I don't need to believe that gossiping about other pple = caring for them. I don't need to believe in those twisted theories you made up for yourself to live guilt free in the world.
i DON'T need to.
you say that i think too much. i do. sometimes. the saddest part of it is i get upset not because i think too much. because i think too much to find excuses for the words that you say and the things that you do. and i can't find any.
even before you say anything, i alrd know what you want to say. and the most fucked up thing is, i know what you're thinking.
i'm done with blaming myself and piling myself with the guilt that you put on me for NOTHING that i have done.
i don't have to force myself to do something that i don't want to do. things that i'm not comfortable with doing.
cause i'm not you.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
being thankful for.
i haven't been thankful in my thoughts recently. here's a post to that.
i now understand why i was never able to be happy dancing in sch with all of them. yes, they are a fun-loving bunch who are maniacally great dancers. it makes me wonder who m i?
im thankful to know, i have a bunch of friends whom are willing to go the extra mile for me. willing to listen to my problems. willing to share their problems with me. who appreciate and show appreciation for what i do and who i am.
im thankful to have understood that you can never force your ideals onto other people even if you think those ideas are great ones.
im thankful to know that not everyone will appreciate your kindness or reciprocate the heart you put on your sleeve. your words mean nothing to them than just a gust of let loose CO2. your actions mean nothing than just someone who's foolish enough to want to help, or is trying to get into your good books.
im thankful to know that, as much as i want to think we've all grown up. we haven't fallen far from the old oak tree. we are still us. grown up or not.
you must be wondering why im thankful for all these hurtful things ive felt.
because it makes me understand how im supposed to protect myself mentally and emotionally from all these things.
they will never understand that my #1 consensus thought for and has always been for the show. not to outshine or shine or show how good i m. i m not and have never been good. most of the dancers right now are much stronger than i ever was. juniors even. but i haven't exactly heard good things from people outside of dance. things like attitudes and stuff. thats something we all will learn.
IDC has really opened my eyes and heart and soul to a whole new level of dance enlightenment. dancing because i want to have fun. because it IS fun. because i simply want to. They may not be the best ard, neither m i. but we're gonna get there someday, somehow. they are really the best crew mates one could ever wish for.
all these people make me appreciate the things that ive overlooked. people i should take note of.
not chasin after other peoples dreams.
i want/need to chase after my own dream/s!
thank you GOD. for opening up a new passage in my life. (((:
i now understand why i was never able to be happy dancing in sch with all of them. yes, they are a fun-loving bunch who are maniacally great dancers. it makes me wonder who m i?
im thankful to know, i have a bunch of friends whom are willing to go the extra mile for me. willing to listen to my problems. willing to share their problems with me. who appreciate and show appreciation for what i do and who i am.
im thankful to have understood that you can never force your ideals onto other people even if you think those ideas are great ones.
im thankful to know that not everyone will appreciate your kindness or reciprocate the heart you put on your sleeve. your words mean nothing to them than just a gust of let loose CO2. your actions mean nothing than just someone who's foolish enough to want to help, or is trying to get into your good books.
im thankful to know that, as much as i want to think we've all grown up. we haven't fallen far from the old oak tree. we are still us. grown up or not.
you must be wondering why im thankful for all these hurtful things ive felt.
because it makes me understand how im supposed to protect myself mentally and emotionally from all these things.
they will never understand that my #1 consensus thought for and has always been for the show. not to outshine or shine or show how good i m. i m not and have never been good. most of the dancers right now are much stronger than i ever was. juniors even. but i haven't exactly heard good things from people outside of dance. things like attitudes and stuff. thats something we all will learn.
IDC has really opened my eyes and heart and soul to a whole new level of dance enlightenment. dancing because i want to have fun. because it IS fun. because i simply want to. They may not be the best ard, neither m i. but we're gonna get there someday, somehow. they are really the best crew mates one could ever wish for.
all these people make me appreciate the things that ive overlooked. people i should take note of.
not chasin after other peoples dreams.
i want/need to chase after my own dream/s!
thank you GOD. for opening up a new passage in my life. (((:
Thursday, March 24, 2011
eh... like wtf pls.
Like seriously wtf ok. i mean u seriously cant blame me for getting pissed lo.
i alrd called to reserve and ASKED if there are enough tickets. It isn't my fault that YOU never pick up my call leh. U were busy and u received alot of missed calls? If you know pple will be looking for you in the first place, you should keep ur phone near you. And i alrd confirmed to meet u. u never pick up my call but have alrd reserved my tickets like 1-2 days before i was supposed to meet you, then when u see me later, u tell me you never reserve tickets for me?
THEN I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!
i mean, im not new to this poor management thingie of TPDE. ive been in TPDE, and whether we like it or not, everyone not only in TPDE has this bad habit of bad management whether its time or whatever. but im quite sure you could have listed down WHO you PROMISED tickets to so that you know if you can promise ANYMORE. dun go and say, ya ya... Got... then end up giving pple false hope.
I dun really care if you're doing a favour for whom keeping tickets right now or whatever. My main issue going out to whoever is responsible for this current problem right now is DON'T PROMISE ANYTHING IF YOU'RE NOT SURE YOU CAN DELIVER. i dunno wad things are going on, maybe is like some long list of issues with pple asking you to hold tickets, but i reserved 1-2 days beforehand. by then you SHOULD HAVE ALRD KNOWN IF YOU'VE STILL GOT TICKETS LEFT. not WAIT UNTIL I SEE THE PERSON THEN SAY NEVER RESERVE FOR ME. its equivalent to telling me, I SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE CALLED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE TO SO CALLED "RESERVE".
im going to repeat this FARKING sentence because ITS THE MAIN FARKING ISSUE!
I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!
I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!
I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!
I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!
I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!
I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN?!
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
i alrd called to reserve and ASKED if there are enough tickets. It isn't my fault that YOU never pick up my call leh. U were busy and u received alot of missed calls? If you know pple will be looking for you in the first place, you should keep ur phone near you. And i alrd confirmed to meet u. u never pick up my call but have alrd reserved my tickets like 1-2 days before i was supposed to meet you, then when u see me later, u tell me you never reserve tickets for me?
THEN I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!
i mean, im not new to this poor management thingie of TPDE. ive been in TPDE, and whether we like it or not, everyone not only in TPDE has this bad habit of bad management whether its time or whatever. but im quite sure you could have listed down WHO you PROMISED tickets to so that you know if you can promise ANYMORE. dun go and say, ya ya... Got... then end up giving pple false hope.
I dun really care if you're doing a favour for whom keeping tickets right now or whatever. My main issue going out to whoever is responsible for this current problem right now is DON'T PROMISE ANYTHING IF YOU'RE NOT SURE YOU CAN DELIVER. i dunno wad things are going on, maybe is like some long list of issues with pple asking you to hold tickets, but i reserved 1-2 days beforehand. by then you SHOULD HAVE ALRD KNOWN IF YOU'VE STILL GOT TICKETS LEFT. not WAIT UNTIL I SEE THE PERSON THEN SAY NEVER RESERVE FOR ME. its equivalent to telling me, I SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE CALLED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE TO SO CALLED "RESERVE".
im going to repeat this FARKING sentence because ITS THE MAIN FARKING ISSUE!
I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!
I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!
I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!
I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!
I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LAN?!
I CALL YOU TO RESERVE TICKETS GAM LANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN?!
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]